Are you struggling to conceive?

Many women been zooming through their prime child-bearing years with thoughts of career, travel, romance, money, mortgages. You might find your only thoughts on conception were remembering to take the pill and hoping to keep your periods regular so that you can plan your social life more effectively. With all these pressures, hopes and expectations on what you want from life, you may have spent years actively making sure you do not conceive.  

Then at some point your body clock begins ticking louder and louder until strong new feelings seep through every pore, a new longing, a new desire to hold your own baby.  Gone is the desire for a full throttle lifestyle and in its place is such an inner longing, a desperate yearning to fulfil your true role, to become a mother.

Yet for many women, that decision to become pregnant does not always translate into reality.  Consciously you might have decided that now would be a good time to become pregnant, but for many reasons your body does not seem to get the message.  Perhaps you are finding that month after month goes by, without the outcome you want.  You may then spend hours searching the internet on how to get pregnant and it will throw up all kinds of physical factors such as having regular sex (duh!), eat a healthy diet, reduce weight, take vitamins, monitor ovulation, reduce caffeine…..etc etc.

However, what most articles and websites seem to miss, is that your body does not work in a purely physical way. Yes all those things are important BUT they are missing a crucial factor – your thoughts, fears and emotions are all inextricably linked with your physical functions. In fact our emotions, memories and thoughts are all stored within our body and are interconnected with every physical function. Take a moment to think of something that made you sad, an event in the past…. then notice where you are “feeling” it right now.  The chances are it is somewhere in your body and the ‘feeling’ is NOT in your mind.

Updating your subconscious

Even though you may consciously feel now is a good time to get pregnant, there may also be a whole host of subconscious reasons which are holding you back.  There may be issues and fears which you have not really faced up to or even ones that you may not be aware of.

• Issues and concerns related to your own childhood, your parents, your perception of their love
• Your feelings about your own ability as a mother
• Concerns over how becoming a mother will change you, your lifestyle, your relationships, your sense of self, your place in the world.
• Feelings about your body, your sexuality,
• Your ability to cope with pregnancy and childbirth
• Material issues such as coping financially, the size of your house, car, and mortgage.

All of these can act as blocks to giving your body “permission” to conceive.

So something which may appear as “physical”, such as conceiving a child, is actually heavily influenced by a woman’s thoughts, emotions and fears. I am sure you have heard of examples where a couple has tried to conceive for many years and then finally give up and decide to adopt or to go on holiday and then hey presto they get pregnant.  What was different? Did her body suddenly change, did his sperm suddenly get more powerful?  Usually it is when the mental thoughts and fears are put aside and she is no longer holding herself back or “trying” to get pregnant.

Changing words can change feelings

Simply the language we use to ourselves as well as others, can have a huge impact on our physical responses – if you think of the word “trying”, what does that actually mean? It implies putting in a lot of effort… but without much success. Take out the word “trying” and suddenly things become lighter, feel more positive, more empowering, more successful – so instead of “trying to get pregnant” how about “preparing to get pregnant” or “getting ready to conceive”. This message will be received far more positively by the body than just “trying”. Think of the title to this blog – struggling to conceive. How does the word “struggling” make you feel? Again change that to “preparing to conceive” and see how that makes you feel. It may sound a bit pedantic but feeling more positive about the process is a small step in the right direction.

I know this may sound a bit hippy dippy, but a great start is to spend time meditating and turning inwards, by actively giving your body permission to conceive, telling your inner self that it is OK to get pregnant, that now everything that is important is in place and it is OK to welcome a baby into your body.

Ways to use your mind to improve your chances of conceiving

Taking time out to really understand and evaluate your feelings is the first step towards preparing yourself to conceive.

1. Write down a list of anything that you are worried about or that might be a mental or emotional blocker, no matter how trivial you think it may be.
2. Once you are aware of them – and you may be surprised at what comes out, spend time relaxing and then thinking about each one, in turn, acknowledging that up until now, it has played an important role
3. Then imagine letting them go – imagine tying each one to a balloon and watching it float away, or imagine dropping them down a well, or putting them on a white fluffy cloud – as crazy as that may sound, after you have consciously “let them go” you will begin to feel different
4. If you have trouble letting go, ask yourself how keeping that thought is helpful or beneficial to you. Then focus on dealing with the answer to that question.  It is quite possible that this is your subconscious’ way of protecting yourself by preventing you from getting pregnant.  If this is really challenging it may be useful to seek the help of a therapist.

How can hypnosis help with conceiving?

Firstly it is important to dispel some of the myths surrounding hypnosis.  Essentially it is time when your thought patterns shift from the conscious, analytical, here-and-now way of thinking to a pattern of more relaxed, day-dream like wandering of thoughts.  This actually happens naturally many times a day – such as when we are driving, reading, focusing, day dreaming etc.

Therefore hypnosis is a state of mind that is totally natural and familiar to everyone. During this time you become more receptive to positive suggestions and thought patterns as your thoughts are less constrained by your analytical, critical way of thinking (your conscious mind). Technically it is a time when we have a greater degree of control over our thoughts and an increased ability to access the part of our mind that stores all our thoughts, fears, memories, patterns as well as physical functions (known collectively as the subconscious) – quite often the reason that good ideas can come to you spontaneously when you are relaxing in the bath, driving, going to sleep!

Normally we dip in and out of this state many times a day, however, with guidance and practice you can actively take yourself into this state as a means to achieving desirable changes both emotionally and physically.  Without the usual constraints and limitations of your conscious mind these changes can take place more easily and more quickly than other approaches.

How can using hypnosis help you conceive?

During a hypnosis session, you are also benefiting from deep relaxation and increased physical well-being as you are breathing effectively, resting your body and allowing all your organs to work more efficiently.  Whilst in this relaxed state you become far more receptive to positive suggestions related to health, well-being, increased awareness of your body’s cycles and the ability to change old thought patterns.

When you apply these factors, you can begin to see how hypnosis can be beneficial in aiding conception.

1. It promotes relaxation which in turn reduces stress ( a common factor for women having difficulties conceiving). This can be particularly beneficial when having sex so that your body is in a better “state” to aid the process of fertilisation. It can also help to cope with or even get off the “emotional rollercoaster” each month
2. It allows you to explore any issues which may be emotionally “holding you back” from conceiving and takes you through an exercise to actively “let go” of those issues no matter how big small or insignificant they may seem.
3. It enables you to give your body the right messages at a physical as well as emotional level (re for years telling yourself NOT to get pregnant  – you can now give yourself permission to go ahead!)
4. Through the powerful use of visualisation it helps to condition your body to be more receptive to conception
5. Through positive suggestions it encourages you to lead a more healthy lifestyle which again has shown to have a positive effect on conception.

You can read some of the many comments women have made after listening to my Prepare to Conceive hypnosis tracks

“We have been trying for a baby for almost 2 years with no luck. A referral to a consultant was made and I was diagnosed with grade 3 endometriosis…She told me that there is very little chance of me getting pregnant naturally…I knew that there is a slim chance of me getting pregnant naturally…. I bought the audio track in October, listened to it every night and by December, we found out I was pregnant. ” read her full story here

“The audio track is so wonderful for so many reasons… The professionalism, intelligence and knowledge of the therapist, the beautiful way in which the messages were delivered, to be able to really get inside my body and my thoughts, the relaxing music, I was fully immersed and absorbed into the meditation and was able to really let worries and concerns go. I didn’t realize I was holding onto so many negative thoughts but the audio tracks helped to release them.”

“I was feeling very low and decided to order your audio tracks to try to relax me and make me feel more positive – which it did! I felt empowered listening to it – was doing something really positive when I’d felt really low and hopeless. Also helped me sleep better as I wasn’t sleeping well at time….Low and behold it was positive and 20 tests later I truly believed I was pregnant” read her full story here

I hope this has helped you see how by changing your words, thoughts and fears, your body is more likely to respond and so your chances of conceiving are increased.

Did you know that 50% of women using the Prepare to Conceive audio track  and IVF Companion go onto get pregnant?

Enjoy!